More Elodie anyone?

Here are a few new pictures of our precious Elodie. The first is after a bottle and so accurately portrays her contentment. Excuse the blur, but notice her smile! The next is a new pic of Elodie finally sleeping in her crib!

A day in the life of Colleen

Oh, how little did I know that when it was proper, I wouldn't always be so eager to this!

Touch of Grace

(posted by Olivier, this is CoandO after all)

For me the hardest part about this transition in life is not the three am diaper change, or having to postpone a bathroom break for a crying baby, even the fatigue is manageable for me... the hardest part is how disconnected from God I've become. Previously I was really under control and able to give my forty-five minutes in the morning, my Thursday nights to the Lord, and Sunday mornings (a long morning at the Tab). Lately though, zero, I've given the Lord just about zero of myself.

Surely when you are exhausted and being stretched to a point that you never have been before, God understands and the grace is there, right? And yes it has been there, for my wife, and for the baby, and even work, being able to get up and be a father in the middle of the night, or at the end of a work day, and commutes on a slimmed down two lane Edens, to be able to come home and have a genuine desire to take care of a baby and hear about Colleen's day, these are things that I can't claim as my own good nature, but rather the grace of God. But where the grace of God seems to be lacking the most for me right now is in my own personal life. I don't have it in me to praise while I'm driving, or to get into the word... it's just not there. I feel busted. Perhaps this is just my own misunderstanding of who God is and his infinite mercy, but truthfully it's just been a struggle... I just talked with a wise brother in the Lord, my brother, and he said, "it's time for me to stop complaining." I couldn't help but think how mature of a statement that is given the fact of the God we serve...

And so it's time for me to stop complaining, I need a touch of grace... This past Thursday night was our prayer meeting, usually a surefire way of getting close to God and being renewed, but not so this time. Elodie needed a feeding and she kept us from the exhaltation time, and during the word I had to leave and feed her a bottle... really I could've been home and watching "The Office". But I knew I needed God... I was desperate. It came time to pray for each other and I thought, with our daughter between us, it would be an opportune time to pray for ourselves as a family. I had shown up for the meeting, and wasn't able to connect in praise, nor in lesson, and now I wanted to hear from him... I started to open my mouth and tell God of his goodness, but I was only able to sputter some nonsense... "Lord why is this so hard right now, what is going on? surely you know how hard this is..."

Then I feel the hands of our loving friends come behind us and a voice that says "we really want to pray for you..." And as our brother and sister start praying for us I realize that each and every thing they say and ask God for is just what had been weighing so heavy on my heart... rest, assurance, renewal, courage, energy, new love, new annointing, grace upon grace... And there he was, God, in the middle of their prayers, telling me, "Yes, I know... I know you are distant, and tired, but I know, and you are mine..." and there it was, in a long night of waiting on God, he just showed up in that prayer, in a way that had nothing to do with me. I didn't stretch my faith or get up in the middle of the night, he just came, and in that short moment came the touch of Grace...

Heavenly Day

I'm not smart enough to figure out how to post a song on this blog, but if I were...you'd be listening to Patty Griffin's Heavenly Day. I'd want you to hear it because it was a bit of what my day felt like today. Nothing fantastic happened...just a little sunshine, a sweet baby, lunch with my hubby and peace from God. I'm so grateful for it, so I thought I'd share the slice of heaven with you...

Here are the lyrics of the song:

Heavenly Day

,Patty Griffin

Oh heavenly day, all the clouds blew away
Got no trouble today with anyone
The smile on your face I live only to see
It's enough for me, baby, it's enough for me
Oh, heavenly day, heavenly day, heavenly day

Tomorrow may rain with sorrow
Here's a little time we can borrow
Forget all our troubles in these moments so few
All we've got right now, the only thing that
All we really have to do
Is have ourselves a heavenly day
Lay here and watch the trees sway
Oh, can't see no other way, no way, no way
Heavenly day, heavenly day, heavenly day

No one at my shoulder bringing me fears
Got no clouds up above me bringing me tears
Got nothing to tell you, I've got nothing much to say
Only I'm glad to be here with you
On this heavenly, heavenly, heavenly, heavenly
Heavenly day, all the trouble's gone away
Oh, for a while anyway, for a while anyway
Heavenly day, heavenly day, heavenly day

Elodie Ma Cherie

a conversation from our visit last night

Colleen: "Arianna, I love your socks!"

Arianna"Yeah?"

Colleen: "I love them so much that I'd like to take a picture of them"

Arianna: "Oh yeah?"

Lelah: "Arianna, you got them socks from the gas station"

Arianna: "Yup, I always get my socks from the gas station"

Lelah: "I got these socks from the gas station too"

Arianna: "cool"

Ohhh...now I remember...

Life has been pretty hard these last few weeks. Olivier and I are emotionally and physically exhausted caring for Elodie. My transition into being a stay-at-home mom hasn't been quite as picturesque as I thought it would be. I am having faith that things will get better, but there are some days that I feel I've lost all purpose in my life-other than being a mom to a baby who can't talk to me or tell me if I'm doing a good job.

Last night, Olivier and I were taking turns eating dinner when the door bell rang announcing a whole group of girls at the gate. Olivier sophisticatedly opened the window to talk to them.

"What's up girls?"

"OLIVIER, OLIVIER...WE WANNA SEE YO BAAAA-BY"

It was a whole group of girls from the neighborhood, desperate to meet Elodie.

The funny thing about this is that these girls remembered that I was having a baby. I haven't seen them since December. I'm so honored that they thought of us. There have been other girls that have been calling us every week asking when the baby was to come. I just don't ever recall seeing such thoughtfulness from 10 years olds ever in my life.

The girls held Elodie, looked at her feet, checked out her "crib" and just stared at her. Elodie loved it. She was fussing all night and when they came, she was the most peaceful I'd seen her all day.

I need to remember this moment. When I'm home alone, bored and frustrated...help me remember that there are little girls out in the neighborhood who have loved us. They want to be a part of our lives. The girls kept asking to come over everyday to be in our house and see Elodie. One girl asked Olivier for our number and pulled out a miniature address book (seriously it was like an inch big). She filled the page with our number and looked so satisfied. The girls often say that it feels so good to be in our house. Another girl asked me last night about a bible lesson I taught her in JUNE! She remembered what I taught her. Is it possible that God has set our life up to speak loudly to Garfield Park, without us doing a thing? Is this what it's like to be living in his will? Help me remember this.